Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Dreams on January 26, 2007

In my dream I am a married mother of two. I am dying of cancer. I have a wish to move to Santa Barbara. And to live alone. Jerry and Eliot are my friends. They, too, are moving to Santa Barbara. We find us a house in a deserted mall. It’s spooky. The groundskeeper is a Russian woman who has lost a huge amount of weight. You can see it in the way she walks. The house sits on a beach. There is a a small bedroom with a cot, a kitchen. Suddenly I insist that my sons live with me. Jerry tells me all the different names of the neighborhoods as we drive around. I like this place. I am going to die here. We go on. The house is simple. I have my peace, and when I do not desire it I turn on the TV or the radio. My husband knows not to ask me questions. There aren’t answers. This is how I wish to spend the rest of my days.

Another dream. I am in India. I don’t know why. I am very homesick. I think I am also dying in this dream. I see many colors. Every color. I can see the sun. The rain has stopped. That is good. Because it has rained for so many days.

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